


The Uglies

by BabySnoopy



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Fluff, Gen, Mental Health Issues, slightly fluffy, when the uglies are visiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-18 23:38:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16129070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabySnoopy/pseuds/BabySnoopy
Summary: for the times that you wake up absolutely tired after a decent amount of sleep, and when you can't get out of bed or bring yourself to eat. for when it's been a week and your body feels like an exterior you have to bear and you can't really explain to anyone what this is that you're stuck in. for when jeonghan comes to see you and understands that holding you is the best he can do for you.





	The Uglies

The Uglies always arrived unannounced. How quietly they crept up on you was deafening and before you get the chance to look back, you feel your shoulders weigh you down and your knees give in. This time, the Uglies arrived with backup. Mornings were the worst. You were robbed of the sunrises you so loved to get up for, chained to your bed post as you felt your mattress swallow you up like quicksand. You didn’t feel hungry; you didn’t feel anything at all. Time felt slow whenever you moved but somehow you still lost track of the days. Your bones become heavy but you've never felt more hollow before.

As much as you loved Jeonghan, in this moment you regret giving him the spare keys. It was claustrophobic enough with the Uglies keeping you company but really, you just didn’t want him to see you like this. The keys were rattled and the door came unlocked. On any other day, you looked forward to the way he handled your name, always in that sing-song way like a tune he couldn’t get out of his head. But how unfair was it, that today it sounded like it was sung in the wrong key? All because the Uglies were able to mask his gentle voice and turn it into something synonymous with the taste of blood in your mouth.

You turn on your side to face the window and pretend to sleep. Telling him to leave was not an option, unless you wanted to risk exposing yourself through the crack in your voice. You didn’t need to worry him like that. The Uglies were something you wanted to keep secret because, well, they were ugly. Intangible, shapeless beings that could not be explained away. And you hated that the most because it meant the best you could do was sit through it and wait for them to leave.

Jeonghan called out to you again, a distant sound now drowned out by the noise coming from somewhere deep in the back of your skull. 

He thought it was strange when he walked into the kitchen to find a peeled banana with only one bite taken out of it and uncooked noodles sitting in a pot on a cold stove. Other than that, nothing else was out of place which worried him even more. Everything seemingly a little too clean for you. He wondered how many days you’ve been like this, if he would have noticed earlier if he wasn’t so aloof.

He calls your name again. No response. The only thing he could hear was the rustling of your blanket from the bedroom. At first, he was hesitant about coming over. Jeonghan wasn’t afraid of anything but lately he’s found himself pondering over whether all you saw him for was an escape route to distract you from the serious things. As if he was too delicate to understand anything past the sarcastic remarks you disguised The Uglies in.

When he finds you, you were nothing but a lump under the blanket. There was a change in the air of the room, something like the blend of his pity and your guilt and suddenly it became a little bit harder to breathe. Your ribcage was closing in as you tighten the grip you had in your fist, your fingers turned white. Unlike the last guy, instead of poking at your side and telling you you’ve no reason to be tired, you feel the weight on the bed shift behind you as Jeonghan climbs in. His chest pressed into your spine as he encloses the space between. You wanted to shake him off and get as far away from him as you could but your limbs refused to move. Slowly, his arm slings over your waist to grab hold of your balled fist, gently pressing against your fingers in a rhythmic pace to loosen your grip. Your lungs allow you to take a shaky breath.

You couldn’t see his face and maybe it was best you didn’t, for the Uglies might have twisted a blank expression into indifference and lead you down a troublesome road of what ifs. For the past week, your body numbed out your senses; you swallowed words of comfort like the cough syrup you hated as a child and you could hear the sympathy in faces like they were broken records, asking you "are you sure it's that serious?" on repeat. Jeonghan did neither but instead offered you a type of warmth that could only be understood through his nearness, his embrace. They didn't necessarily repel the Uglies but you've come to realise that that was not meant to be the point.

From now on, the Uglies were welcome to stay if they didn't shy away from seeing you in the arms of another.


End file.
